[Above: Drive Around the World Land Rovers cross some Costa Rican rivers en route to the town of Manuel Antonio.]

By Colin "Corndog" McAuliffe

Being the jovial gent that I am, it recently occurred to me that someone is occasionally going to have to go out of their way to make sure that our little group is enjoying our journey as much as possible. It was with this theory in mind that I appointed myself to two new positions; secret Santa coordinator and vice-chancellor in charge of mustache wearing.

First and foremost, and of the most urgency, I have appointed myself to the exalted role of secret Santa coordinator. I’m sure everyone’s heard of secret Santa, the yuletide game where everyone picks a name out of a hat and then has to buy a gift for that person. Anyway, at the Costa Rican border, in my most beautifully scripted calligraphy (cough), I wrote down the nine illustrious names for our nine illustrious team members on beautifully folded origami-esque pieces of paper (cough) and carefully placed them in a green and white baseball hat. The rounds were made and within ten minutes, every member had chosen his or her gift target. It had occurred to me that it would be extremely amusing if I just wrote my own name nine times so that everyone ended up buying me presents, but that was against my better judgment and only because I knew that not everyone would keep their secret Santa person a secret and I would get caught. However, all you kids should keep that in mind for next year when the holidays come around. So now all that’s left is for everyone to buy gifts, and come Christmas morning, the yuletide joy will be spread.

I’m sure everyone is curious as to what exactly a vice-chancellor in charge of mustache wearing does, and the answer is simple. My new job is to make sure that by the time we get to Ecuador, all able-faced male members of the Drive Around the World expedition crew will be sporting a full-fledged soup strainer of a mustache. Now some of you would say “Colin; you, Todd, and Nick already have mustaches.” Well, if you said that, you’d only be partly wrong, because I have scruffy beard, and Todd and Nicholas have goatees. Which are completely different than mustaches. The plan I have devised ensures that “if possible” all the men will have only mustaches and no other facial hair. Mainly I just want to do this because mustaches are funny and I want to take some pictures of me and all my buddies sporting cheesy mustaches. I realize that mustaches aren’t “cool” and that they're not exactly in style in America, but they are in style down here in Central America and when in Rome…

I do think mustaches look stupid, but for some reason sometimes I like looking stupid -- it amuses me. Unfortunately, Rolf and Justin do not have the capabilities to grow proper facial hair so they can‘t enjoy this facial merriment, however Rolf has sworn he will attempt to grow what is know in certain circles as a “gobbler” which is basically a neck beard, and I guess that’ll do. Anyway, I’m hoping we’ll all have sufficient facial hair around the Panama canal because I think it would be funny if we all bought Panama hats and aviator sunglasses and did a proper photo shoot.

So, all you people out their in computer land, this is my message to you: Life is about one thing, and no, it’s not money, and no it’s not love, or sports, or crocheting, or collecting butterflies, or any of that crap. Life is about enjoying yourself. If it puts a smile on your face when you have a silly t-shirt or baseball cap on, or even when you glance across the room and remember that you have a ridiculous looking mustache perched atop your upper lip, more power to you. But then again, who would ever take advice from a guy whose traveling companions call him the corndog?

Happy Holidays,

Colin McAuliffe
AKA Corndog
AKA Spongehead
AKA El Gringo Loco
colin@drivearoundtheworld.com

Logbook for December 6th
Start: Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica
Finish: Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica
Mileage: Rest day

Help support our cause: Drive Around the World aims to raise money for Parkinson’s Disease research by taking four certified pre-owned Land Rover Discoverys around the globe following lines of longitude. Readers are encouraged to pledge small amounts of money per expedition-mile via a pledge form that can be found on our Parkinson’s page by clicking here. Everyone making a pledge of $10 or more to raise money for the Parkinson’s Institute will be put in a raffle to win an expedition-style Land Rover.